twenty-nine hawk moths by marion ellis rowan (1910)
I keep seeing moths. This may not be strange to you, but they will pop up in my apartment when I least expect it… and usually when I’m thinking about myself and my “next steps.” They float by and flutter around my head erratically, and then when I try to find it, the moth has disappeared.
Some of the positive aspects of the moth totem are transformation, dreams, determination, psychic awareness. These really resonate with me because this past year has been an incredible one for my personal transformation and development of my intuition.
After Earth Wellness Yoga closed its brick-and-mortar location, I continued to teach elsewhere, but was feeling empty and my body was hurting (I found out I had scoliosis). In November, I had enrolled in the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and began to look at the aspects of my own health that needed to be shored up, and later on began a course of chiropractic treatment. I took an extended break from teaching to nourish my own body and spirit and expand my mind.
IIN was one of the most intense programs of my life, because it held a mirror up to me. I looked at where I was not caring fully for myself, whether it was regarding my career, my body, my relationships or any other necessary element. I was engaging in more behaviors beyond yoga that were physically and spiritually bringing me into alignment.
I’ve started to change my habits in favor of things that nourish me, though they ebb and flow like most people’s do. In those moments when I falter on my path, I refuse to hold myself to an arbitrary standard born from perfectionism. There is something to be learned in each misstep, and I learn strength from consistently putting myself back on the path and moving forward.
Around the time of my enrollment in IIN, I completed a course in Vedic meditation with Light Watkins (more on that in a later post), which my husband Byron attended with me. That month I also received my Reiki 2 attunement from my mentor Denise Munoz. I made all these big decisions in November of last year and took steps toward deeper learning and understanding.
This post is not meant as a summary of what I did when I wasn’t updating this blog… it is a post for trusting your intuition, or something greater than yourself. In less than a year since I took these leaps of faith, my jobs have changed, my personal views have changed, my spiritual practices have changed. I’ve gone within and searched myself. So many people and things have fallen away that I no longer need (with many blessings to those people, things and experiences).
I think that’s why I keep being visited by these moths lately… to remind me that it’s all part of my beautiful metamorphosis.
If you’re interested in cultivating your own personal transformation. Send me an e-mail at gab@gabriellegray.com. I love to talk about positive life changes.